The Nosy Neighbor

My wife teases me, because I’m a “nosy neighborhood busy-body.”  I prefer to think of myself as a dog-walking man who notices things.  

“The people in the gray house on the middle of the block got a new motorcycle!”
“Young couple with a poodle did some nice front landscaping.”
“The Garske’s replaced their landscape timber with bricks; it looks great!”
(I know the Garske’s name because they have a sign that says “The Garske’s”; I also know we have similar political preferences; I spoke to them one time – when our dogs were barking at each other).

So. It’s not surprise that over the last couple of years I watched an empty house a block away get an extreme “flip” makeover.  When it went on the market, you better believe I looked it up.  It was neat to get a feel for the inside shape of this (kind of overpriced) house.  

Last week I was walking the dog.  I hear a little voice shouting Hiiii! and Heyyyyy!  I look across the street at the aforementioned house.  I see the brightly painted pillars on the porch, the crisp, grey vinyl siding.  And sitting in the window I see a 2 or 3 year old boy in socks and underpants (maybe a diaper).  His feet are hanging out of the window.  He is screaming Heyyyyy! Hahaha!  It is 6:30 am on a Saturday.  No one else is up and moving on the block that I can see.

Internal monologue: Does this kid even see me?  I can’t go over, my dog might bark and scare him.  Surely there is someone on the other side of the curtains that knows he’s sitting with his feet hanging out the window.  I should say some- no, if I go over there, people might think I mean to harm him.  And I still have a dog with me anyway?!  

I continue walking this whole time, glancing back, but pretending not to notice.  Because the last thing I need is a 2 year old in a diaper chasing me shouting “Doggy.”  And it seems like a distinct possibility.  

About this time, a vehicle pulls in the drive way, and a voice is shouting out of it “WHAT IN THE WORLD! GET IN THE HOUSE, HOW DID YOU….”  

The whole thing took 60 seconds.  I glance back a final time, relieved, to see the adult putting the screen back into the window frame. . .a little voice on the other side of the blinds, still saying Hiiiii!

Daisy and I out for a walk, the house in question, to the right.

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